Hate is everywhere, or at least that is what I’ve always been told. Some of the questions I ask myself are:
- What is hate? Is there a universal definition for the term?
- Do we actually feel hate every time we say we hate something?
- How do we choose what to hate? Does society have an influence in that decision?
- Is there a list of things we should all be hating without even questioning?
- Does hating so much end up affecting our behaviour towards ourselves and others?
According to Oxford Dictionaries ‘hate’ can either be a noun, meaning ‘Intense dislike‘, ‘Denoting hostile actions motivated by intense dislike or prejudice‘ or ‘An intensely disliked person or thing‘; or a verb, meaning ‘Feel intense dislike for‘, ‘Have a strong aversion to (something)‘ or ‘Used politely to express one’s regret or embarrassment at doing something’ (Oxforddictionaries.com, 2016).
Why do we hate? There isn’t a single answer for that question, but Travis Morgan offers a good insight on his blog ‘More or less, the source of hatred forms when our expectations are not met to our satisfaction. When one expects something, and it does not happen how we expected it to, we become disappointed. If we continue to have ideas on how things should be, and discriminate between things based off of our opinions, we are sure to eventually be let down. This can lead to hatred in that in which is not to our satisfaction. The answer, Do not expect. If you do not expect, you can not be disappointed.‘ (Travisjmorgan.com, 2016).
According to that statement, we as humans, create our own assumptions about things and people before experiencing them. If they fail to reach those expectations, we feel disappointed – and ultimately, we end up hating them for not being or doing what we anticipated they would. Removing all expectations from our mind, would make us appreciate things as they come: there is no good, there is no bad, it is just is what it is. Removing that ‘relativeness’ factor could offer us a way to hate less.
On that same blog the comments and opinions raise more questions, like ‘Using hate so casually, would it imply that the concept is buried somewhere inside you?‘, which means that constantly saying ‘we hate things’ implies that hate is a feeling that is hidden in us. If hate is such an interiorized feeling, have we been born with it or have we been conditioned to make it part of our mental structure?
A different comment says that ‘Hate only confuses and destructs the way things are.‘ Does ‘hating’ the three French people that you know mean that you ‘hate’ the French? That statement is just your mind being subjective – you’ve met 0.00001% of the French population so that means that you could potentially like the remaining 99.99999%. Yet you’re telling yourself that you ‘hate’ the French, so any future relationship will be affected by your existing negative opinion about them.
The final question is whether we, as individuals, should fight our own hate thoughts and attitudes. Being allowed to hate means that we can freely choose our emotions. But maybe, those things that we consider we have chosen to hate, might be part of a bigger picture, in which our own preconditioned ideas have stopped us from objectively making that decision.
Oxforddictionaries.com, (2016). hate – definition of hate in English from the Oxford dictionary. [online] Available at: http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/english/hate [Accessed 17 Jan. 2016].
Travisjmorgan.com, (2016). Why “Hate” is a Bad Word | Travis Morgan. [online] Available at: http://www.travisjmorgan.com/blog/archives/312 [Accessed 17 Jan. 2016].